Fear and the enjoyment of it.

I have come to the conclusion that I enjoy all sorts of fear . I was on Male submissive art and saw a naked man hand cuffed with a woman pressing into his body with hers holding a gun. Suggesting to me that the male was forced into this position.

A particular fear is one of being caught. Where what ever I have done creates an opportunity to be blackmailed. Perhaps it is a way of not admitting to my desires those that I wish to submit but rather portraying them as I have to or my secret is out. What secret who knows, as I am pretty liberal and not much affect me at least that I show. In my early days I offered challenges, played strip poked or had races only to deliberately try to loose. I would make elaborate boasts or wild bets in the hopes those I played with would take me up on them. Some did some did not but during the game the fear caused excitement of such strength.

I think it is the want of humiliation, the enjoyment of pain and the titillation of fear tht has kept me in the lifestyle. I am still looking for my bully the one that caused my capture then has control on all my actions. It is they who cause the crowds to laugh at my expense. Yes I know some in the lifestyle will say you should just be able to ask your dominant for a session and not have to get in trouble to get one. Quite true! But what if you enjoy running your fingers on the tiger’s cage should you not asked then to be chased if that is what you look for? AN old game I have played is called CCS. Chase catch and strip I would never be the first caught , I would tease and tantalize those chasing until I was the last one on my team the I would stumble. The last one was always treated the nastiest, I so enjoyed that.