Going for a walk has always been a way to be alone. I guess a form of Hermit time you could say. It allows one to remove outside influences and concentrate on one's own thoughts. SO yesterday was just that a walk away from things.
The unfortunate thing is that you can go for a walk but I at least cannot walk away or truly escape if it is not for the vanilla interests then it is those of the lifestyle that draw upon me or worse those that do not investigate past their needs .

Just an ID sort of day.

It is complicated

When one uses the phrase "It's complicated" under relations ships one would think that it is not complicated to see that this person is not single at least to me. To me it means asked me and I will tell you about it or it means if you want single with no attachments or problems then best look at the next profile.

So I am worried now, dominants are supposed to be trusted with a slave's safety having total control over them right. Well do they read the same things slaves do more over do they read. Not one nor two as that just might be a random bit of bad luck nope five in the past three days. Yes they have contacted me with wonderful thoughts on slavery and if I was 18 I would now be working for the price of a airline ticket. At 28 I could have gone anywhere and started new no problem. Three males and two females have gone through the course of at least five emails without reading my profile past the part of my handle then they must have skipped down to the fun stuff. Fter the first email then I see the sane routine finding out what I like what I do then the schedule of of when I will be able to relocate. Frustrated I put a simple question polite but straight forward. " you do know I am attached?" Not bad that they selected me based solely on my picture and introduction but the anger that follows because they did not read past my handle. Worse that I am offering slavery to some one that does not understand the words I use or perhaps cannot read them because their other side is busy with their other hand and in case they read this that means you were pleasuring yourself. Yes I know Mornignstar I am not acting very slave like but really it I wanted this level of intelligence I would put the handle of the lead in my dogs mouth and the collar on my neck. I know at least he would lead with authority.

Now of course not all dominants of the five acted with anger two did not write back. Tow of the five were discussing my blog on being a toy some thing to be used with attachments hmm wonder why I would not want attachment hmm No wonder I am a switch and if one of those dominants are a switch two watch out for your ass my first task would be to give them five profiles and ten seconds t review each on every wrong answer ten strokes of the paddle hmm think that would be enough?

When and what were your first recollections of BDSM thoughts?

When well let me clear the cobwebs off of the history book. I was 9 yes a tender age when I saw and episode of the rifleman. Mark a nine year old was kidnapped by ruffians. I think I felt fear the fear that he showed on the TV. I started to daydream about how it would feel to be helpless due to fear frozen in place like a fawn waiting for a bear to pass. Then what I consider worse was what if people that you did not like or they did not like you were in control of you. What is the worse thing a nine year old can thing of having happen? Well for me it was being dressed as a girl. What an embarrassment, to be like that in front of those most disliked. What came next well what if every one saw me like that all my friends? I think that was the first time in a daydream I experience being laughed at and enjoying it.

Then a dream to enforce it all yes the dream about suddenly being at school naked. One never knows how one gets to school in this state but there I was naked in the school’s hallways not knowing where to hide when the bell goes off and the halls are filled with students. The age of 11 proved to be an awakening as I had a teacher Miss Gerard with red hair and a temperament to match. Then my fantasies were upgraded, as he favourite thing was a 16” ruler that she used in the education of boys. I had the wildest daydreams sitting in her class as a child I was never hit but my daydreams had me naked in front of the class for some discretion then at the end of the day bent over the desk and she applied education to my ass. Never having felt a spanking in my like but seeing many others I felt as if I was missing some thing I guess. This is also when I had fantasies of being in the control of class mates that is when my dreams went from being tied up to having only panties to were then being naked in front of my captors or bullies. These daydreams were the start of my desire to slave I think! They contained tasks to do punishments for not doing them a lot of humiliation and corporal punishment.

I will flip the page of my history book next time for later years.