When and what were your first recollections of BDSM thoughts?

When well let me clear the cobwebs off of the history book. I was 9 yes a tender age when I saw and episode of the rifleman. Mark a nine year old was kidnapped by ruffians. I think I felt fear the fear that he showed on the TV. I started to daydream about how it would feel to be helpless due to fear frozen in place like a fawn waiting for a bear to pass. Then what I consider worse was what if people that you did not like or they did not like you were in control of you. What is the worse thing a nine year old can thing of having happen? Well for me it was being dressed as a girl. What an embarrassment, to be like that in front of those most disliked. What came next well what if every one saw me like that all my friends? I think that was the first time in a daydream I experience being laughed at and enjoying it.

Then a dream to enforce it all yes the dream about suddenly being at school naked. One never knows how one gets to school in this state but there I was naked in the school’s hallways not knowing where to hide when the bell goes off and the halls are filled with students. The age of 11 proved to be an awakening as I had a teacher Miss Gerard with red hair and a temperament to match. Then my fantasies were upgraded, as he favourite thing was a 16” ruler that she used in the education of boys. I had the wildest daydreams sitting in her class as a child I was never hit but my daydreams had me naked in front of the class for some discretion then at the end of the day bent over the desk and she applied education to my ass. Never having felt a spanking in my like but seeing many others I felt as if I was missing some thing I guess. This is also when I had fantasies of being in the control of class mates that is when my dreams went from being tied up to having only panties to were then being naked in front of my captors or bullies. These daydreams were the start of my desire to slave I think! They contained tasks to do punishments for not doing them a lot of humiliation and corporal punishment.

I will flip the page of my history book next time for later years.