Dungeons are good for thinking

I have put myself into my mental form of a dungeon for quite some time now. I have thought and pondered on the idea of my definition of a slave what I have done in the past how I started where I am now.

Where I started was many years ago after watching an edition of Rifleman where mark was kidnapped and roughed up.(for those of you that do not remember he was the rifle mans son) I went to sleep and had wild dreams about the idea of kidnapping and what they could make me do. I transposed myself into the role of the victim. I was eight years old. From there any chance I got to be the looser and face the consequences I did. If it was a gauntlet run then I did I did not give in my list of limits nor tell every one I had a safe word.

When I first found and embrace the lifestyle it was in a very secretive club with few rules for slave. They were written on the wall as slaves knelt waiting to be used. Any one superior to you can use you in any fashion they wish to . No DM no safe words and no limits . Trust is all you had, all you needed because of the scrutiny you had to go through to get in.We knew of the rules the Superior ones had . Play as you wish slaves must be able to be used again in 48 hours. The last part was very clear that mean you might get bruised but not willfully harmed.

All was good NOW with the Internet and services which only request a valid email address those rules I started with are must like saying bind fold yourself and walk into traffic the drivers know they should stop. This fear might not be here if I were younger and uncommitted to family but I am.

I also like to fit in thought I am a bit outspoken at times so when someone asks what re your hard limits I give them a list that I think they want to hear to show how safe I am. I do this because they ask and give control over to me which I found to be harmful to relations for me in the lifestyle. I do not want love from this lifestyle I want to feel humiliation of defeat. I want to be treated as the 90 pound weakling being given a wedgie. Though I might be smart then those in control of me or more successful then them in academics I enjoy feeling helpless at their hands as they spit upon me and call me slave.

SO now I think it is time to get back out on the meat market with no limits but lots of conversation before I accept them to be my owners. No safe word but an assurance they are sane. So now I think it might be time to remove all the coverings from hiding what I am. the question now would be Do I shave off all the hair signifying that I am adult male bring me back to being less then the Men and women that might own me or wait for them to tell me what to do. If I knew how to attach a poll I would