Did I hurt you? a question that irks me in a session.
First off if it is delivered with a wry smile and a little sadistic laugh it is great. How ever when it is a real questions it worries me. First off being spanked, whipped caned or tortured hurts. Just in case some one did not know that. SO it is a dumb question, I tolerate the pain to get the rush simple is it not. The questions also suggest that the person I am playing with either does not know me or is not reading me right.
Can you get up? well if I am not tied down I can just tell to get up if I cannot you will know soon enough. Is not the fun of bondage trying to get away . does not your ability show when you slave cannot. Actually the use of the word can in a question not delivered sarcastically is annoying and worry some slaves should be told not ask in my opinion. Of course if I am with a Dominants and they use the aforementioned irks well not my place to say anything is it!
Friday, February 27, 2009
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Dungeons are good for thinking
I have put myself into my mental form of a dungeon for quite some time now. I have thought and pondered on the idea of my definition of a slave what I have done in the past how I started where I am now.
Where I started was many years ago after watching an edition of Rifleman where mark was kidnapped and roughed up.(for those of you that do not remember he was the rifle mans son) I went to sleep and had wild dreams about the idea of kidnapping and what they could make me do. I transposed myself into the role of the victim. I was eight years old. From there any chance I got to be the looser and face the consequences I did. If it was a gauntlet run then I did I did not give in my list of limits nor tell every one I had a safe word.
When I first found and embrace the lifestyle it was in a very secretive club with few rules for slave. They were written on the wall as slaves knelt waiting to be used. Any one superior to you can use you in any fashion they wish to . No DM no safe words and no limits . Trust is all you had, all you needed because of the scrutiny you had to go through to get in.We knew of the rules the Superior ones had . Play as you wish slaves must be able to be used again in 48 hours. The last part was very clear that mean you might get bruised but not willfully harmed.
All was good NOW with the Internet and services which only request a valid email address those rules I started with are must like saying bind fold yourself and walk into traffic the drivers know they should stop. This fear might not be here if I were younger and uncommitted to family but I am.
I also like to fit in thought I am a bit outspoken at times so when someone asks what re your hard limits I give them a list that I think they want to hear to show how safe I am. I do this because they ask and give control over to me which I found to be harmful to relations for me in the lifestyle. I do not want love from this lifestyle I want to feel humiliation of defeat. I want to be treated as the 90 pound weakling being given a wedgie. Though I might be smart then those in control of me or more successful then them in academics I enjoy feeling helpless at their hands as they spit upon me and call me slave.
SO now I think it is time to get back out on the meat market with no limits but lots of conversation before I accept them to be my owners. No safe word but an assurance they are sane. So now I think it might be time to remove all the coverings from hiding what I am. the question now would be Do I shave off all the hair signifying that I am adult male bring me back to being less then the Men and women that might own me or wait for them to tell me what to do. If I knew how to attach a poll I would
Where I started was many years ago after watching an edition of Rifleman where mark was kidnapped and roughed up.(for those of you that do not remember he was the rifle mans son) I went to sleep and had wild dreams about the idea of kidnapping and what they could make me do. I transposed myself into the role of the victim. I was eight years old. From there any chance I got to be the looser and face the consequences I did. If it was a gauntlet run then I did I did not give in my list of limits nor tell every one I had a safe word.
When I first found and embrace the lifestyle it was in a very secretive club with few rules for slave. They were written on the wall as slaves knelt waiting to be used. Any one superior to you can use you in any fashion they wish to . No DM no safe words and no limits . Trust is all you had, all you needed because of the scrutiny you had to go through to get in.We knew of the rules the Superior ones had . Play as you wish slaves must be able to be used again in 48 hours. The last part was very clear that mean you might get bruised but not willfully harmed.
All was good NOW with the Internet and services which only request a valid email address those rules I started with are must like saying bind fold yourself and walk into traffic the drivers know they should stop. This fear might not be here if I were younger and uncommitted to family but I am.
I also like to fit in thought I am a bit outspoken at times so when someone asks what re your hard limits I give them a list that I think they want to hear to show how safe I am. I do this because they ask and give control over to me which I found to be harmful to relations for me in the lifestyle. I do not want love from this lifestyle I want to feel humiliation of defeat. I want to be treated as the 90 pound weakling being given a wedgie. Though I might be smart then those in control of me or more successful then them in academics I enjoy feeling helpless at their hands as they spit upon me and call me slave.
SO now I think it is time to get back out on the meat market with no limits but lots of conversation before I accept them to be my owners. No safe word but an assurance they are sane. So now I think it might be time to remove all the coverings from hiding what I am. the question now would be Do I shave off all the hair signifying that I am adult male bring me back to being less then the Men and women that might own me or wait for them to tell me what to do. If I knew how to attach a poll I would
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Dommes can make sense.
After reading a few post and an exchange of emails I have found a Dominant that has the same concept of what a slave should be. The term has been confused with being s submissive. While both submit they are two different beings. I first stumble upon her frankly because of her eyes and when I read a post of hers about safe words. I cannot see a slave using a safe word yes for a submissive. A slave should be able to offer themselves fully to their owner not just the things they desire to happen. She has the belief the slave is there for her pleasure not theirs. I am quite sure that if we talked to a galley slave from old they did not shout red when the rowing became too much for them.
It was nice to read some one willing to take the responsibility for their slave and not push it off onto the slave shoulders to do so. Many time slaves are in no position to do this when they are in pain they might just be enjoying themselves too much to care. A dominant that does not require thought by a slave, nor inform them of what service they would provide but instead inform them that there is no saying (no, I can’t I do not want to) or any other negative statement to her request. What a pure pleasure it must be, to serve some one so in control of their desires.
I also realize that so many times I have sought this type of dominance yet never found it. I gave into those questions that first came out of Dominants mouths. What are your limits is one. Almost begging you to inform them what limits they must live by. Except for any one not legal to make decisions I had none when I started. Now depending on how dominant or experienced they are makes my list of hard limits an appropriate length. I unfortunately have brought my level of slavery down to a deplorable low. Another question would be what don’t you like well as the slave why should the dominants care what I like? Only one dominant couple ever told me tough to be you , suck it up and do it. But I had dumped on them a list of hard limits that at best gave them headaches just trying to keep up to it. Why did I do it because they let me consider ever fear possible instead of forcing me to trust them by saying no? Funny, how a word so small, is so important to the raising of children and the training of slaves.
I have always said I do not submit or give my submission to any one they must take it. How to do this? The strength of word, character and conviction that you can convey. The use of the word no. To do this you must know what you desire and have the confidence to carry it out with out the fear of disappointing the slave.
Now, I do apologize to those dominants that I have put down in the past or said they were lazy or not strong enough they might have just been living out their desires I could have said no thank you to them hoping to transform them into the evil dominant I seek but if that is not their desire I do not have a right to change them.
If I were such a perfect slave I would have never had safe words or hard limits. While I have gotten rid of my limits and safe word I do have limitations base on family and friends that any dominant worth their salt can see so if I can trust some one to tie me up I should be able to trust them to make decisions about things that were hard limits, if I can’t well once you are tied to a cross do you really have much say in the matter!
It was nice to read some one willing to take the responsibility for their slave and not push it off onto the slave shoulders to do so. Many time slaves are in no position to do this when they are in pain they might just be enjoying themselves too much to care. A dominant that does not require thought by a slave, nor inform them of what service they would provide but instead inform them that there is no saying (no, I can’t I do not want to) or any other negative statement to her request. What a pure pleasure it must be, to serve some one so in control of their desires.
I also realize that so many times I have sought this type of dominance yet never found it. I gave into those questions that first came out of Dominants mouths. What are your limits is one. Almost begging you to inform them what limits they must live by. Except for any one not legal to make decisions I had none when I started. Now depending on how dominant or experienced they are makes my list of hard limits an appropriate length. I unfortunately have brought my level of slavery down to a deplorable low. Another question would be what don’t you like well as the slave why should the dominants care what I like? Only one dominant couple ever told me tough to be you , suck it up and do it. But I had dumped on them a list of hard limits that at best gave them headaches just trying to keep up to it. Why did I do it because they let me consider ever fear possible instead of forcing me to trust them by saying no? Funny, how a word so small, is so important to the raising of children and the training of slaves.
I have always said I do not submit or give my submission to any one they must take it. How to do this? The strength of word, character and conviction that you can convey. The use of the word no. To do this you must know what you desire and have the confidence to carry it out with out the fear of disappointing the slave.
Now, I do apologize to those dominants that I have put down in the past or said they were lazy or not strong enough they might have just been living out their desires I could have said no thank you to them hoping to transform them into the evil dominant I seek but if that is not their desire I do not have a right to change them.
If I were such a perfect slave I would have never had safe words or hard limits. While I have gotten rid of my limits and safe word I do have limitations base on family and friends that any dominant worth their salt can see so if I can trust some one to tie me up I should be able to trust them to make decisions about things that were hard limits, if I can’t well once you are tied to a cross do you really have much say in the matter!
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
How can you know
A statement that sends chills down my spine for the wrong reasons. A few Dominants have said to me trying to be all knowing that they know exactly how to dominate me. I have post many different ways of doing so on my blogs and journals yet they seem to miss the point. Yes I like certain things and ways of doing them every one has their personal tastes in these matters. The emphasis I always try to put is on the evil mind and control part.
Evil mind usually means some one who can think past the idea that they have to be in control and that does not mean getting every idea from the slave. The term slave I always use to try and show that I am the captive the one that is told what to do. I do not know of a term that reflects what I desire more then slave if thee is one some one please let me know. There are tons of books and blogs out there giving enough ideas to last a life time even that would be preferably to having to provide the step by step plan.
SO I have come to the conclusion that I am a source for ideas for fantasies and the odd photo. SO I sit mystified at the idea of a slave being offered and the Dominant not knowing what they want in a slave. Why do they even indulge in the idea without knowing what they want ?
Evil mind usually means some one who can think past the idea that they have to be in control and that does not mean getting every idea from the slave. The term slave I always use to try and show that I am the captive the one that is told what to do. I do not know of a term that reflects what I desire more then slave if thee is one some one please let me know. There are tons of books and blogs out there giving enough ideas to last a life time even that would be preferably to having to provide the step by step plan.
SO I have come to the conclusion that I am a source for ideas for fantasies and the odd photo. SO I sit mystified at the idea of a slave being offered and the Dominant not knowing what they want in a slave. Why do they even indulge in the idea without knowing what they want ?
Monday, February 23, 2009
Radio bdsm
a rock radio station has a contest on to win a trip. A challenge is given out to win. So far these have been cleaning a both in a peep show, doing a strip tease for a female announcer on air, cleaning the offices in the radio station in a french maid outfit and receiving 97 towel whacks on as they say the arse. Of course this is a contest for men so it is interesting taht there is such overtones of the lifestyle.
What could come next My mind does wonder hmmm perhaps I will get tied to a lamppost with a paddle hanging beside a sign saying go ahead remove your frustrations.
What could come next My mind does wonder hmmm perhaps I will get tied to a lamppost with a paddle hanging beside a sign saying go ahead remove your frustrations.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
A idea of slavery
Slavery has many definitions. The one I like best is being compelled to do distasteful work or tasks for one that was not chosen by you but through capture or sale.
We all have the idea of perfect Dominants whether it is that beautiful Domme in tight leather that will sexually torment you for hours delivering every fantasy you ever had. It could be the black knight on white horse with long blond hair lashing your face as he has thrown you up on his horse and is taking off to be his sex slave.
Really though do those not evoke the sexual side too much. Is it not more humiliating to have to bow down to those you would be a bit more distasteful of? When slaves were captured they did not chose who their masters were. Since humiliation is in every slave relation to some degree then would it not be more humiliating to have to bend your knee to your rival rather than your lover. I think it would be whether male or female if you battled with them would it then be more embarrassing to have to say you are better than I .? Would the tasks take on a much more delicious nature or humiliation? Any task that had to be done in front of them or their friends would carry so much more weight in the idea of your slavery then a willing acceptance of slavery to one you desire?
I would answer yes to the above questions For me in my desire of ideal slavery if would be that I was taken or sold rather then negotiate and agree. Of course in this day and age with the pitfalls of such a relation quite evident this possibility must remain in fantasy only.
We all have the idea of perfect Dominants whether it is that beautiful Domme in tight leather that will sexually torment you for hours delivering every fantasy you ever had. It could be the black knight on white horse with long blond hair lashing your face as he has thrown you up on his horse and is taking off to be his sex slave.
Really though do those not evoke the sexual side too much. Is it not more humiliating to have to bow down to those you would be a bit more distasteful of? When slaves were captured they did not chose who their masters were. Since humiliation is in every slave relation to some degree then would it not be more humiliating to have to bend your knee to your rival rather than your lover. I think it would be whether male or female if you battled with them would it then be more embarrassing to have to say you are better than I .? Would the tasks take on a much more delicious nature or humiliation? Any task that had to be done in front of them or their friends would carry so much more weight in the idea of your slavery then a willing acceptance of slavery to one you desire?
I would answer yes to the above questions For me in my desire of ideal slavery if would be that I was taken or sold rather then negotiate and agree. Of course in this day and age with the pitfalls of such a relation quite evident this possibility must remain in fantasy only.
Friday, February 13, 2009
A simple humiliation
I am a member of Humiliation Nation on Fet-life. SO I receive and awful lot of posts from them. They are of extraordinary ways of humiliation and things to embarrass some one. I think too many ask just to have said they have posted and a little too much thought goes into these things on such a simple concept. So I went on a search through out the Internet world. I found this on U Tube of all places
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=8848547778928252975.
It shows the humiliation of a man by two women. No one is naked just sitting outside in a park where he has to smell lick their feet and suck their toes. During this time they verbally berate him simple and effective.
So I guess that most on fet-life wish to be handed what to do rather then invent or at least google it. Sadly a lot are Dominants seem they do ot have much of an imagination slaves never seem to run out of fantasies about it though. So any one from fet-life that wishes to embarrass a slave well go to Mean Girls on the Internet or really ask you slave there is a hundred different things they would love to be forced to do to their embarrassment.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=8848547778928252975.
It shows the humiliation of a man by two women. No one is naked just sitting outside in a park where he has to smell lick their feet and suck their toes. During this time they verbally berate him simple and effective.
So I guess that most on fet-life wish to be handed what to do rather then invent or at least google it. Sadly a lot are Dominants seem they do ot have much of an imagination slaves never seem to run out of fantasies about it though. So any one from fet-life that wishes to embarrass a slave well go to Mean Girls on the Internet or really ask you slave there is a hundred different things they would love to be forced to do to their embarrassment.
Monday, February 9, 2009
Nothing
I have to write this here as my other blogs seem just not to fit this weekend. I did nothing no hermit time , no new stories, no play or new challenges. Did not even have coffee with friends on Friday. Just a plain boring vanilla weekend. Even though On Friday night I was all alone they was no drive or feeling to do anything but watch hockey.
The idea of having slave rules sort of fun but a catalyst is missing. There is not the proper reason behind it I think. These rules give me stimulation and pleasure they were not written to give others such as a dominants control or the pleasure that a slave is fulfilling their desires. Just a guy doing the house work naked.
So this was a weekend off form my enforced slavery and a small walk on the dominant side just to clear my head a bit.I went on a few chats read some discussions but the most interesting thing around was what istruemene do you enjoy have your clit torture with . Interesting but did not capture me you could say. I even searched for outdoor bondage some thing that usually will provoke interest in me but nothing.
The amount of people in my house still plagues any attempt to extend my house slavery and will for some time. It is not like a dominant locking you in their house naked and telling you everything must sparkle grinning as they have shackled your legs and hands to provide a challenge. Every second and sound would have meaning them now well there is no demand no must be quicker feeling just well boredom. So maybe a few days off and we will see.
The idea of having slave rules sort of fun but a catalyst is missing. There is not the proper reason behind it I think. These rules give me stimulation and pleasure they were not written to give others such as a dominants control or the pleasure that a slave is fulfilling their desires. Just a guy doing the house work naked.
So this was a weekend off form my enforced slavery and a small walk on the dominant side just to clear my head a bit.I went on a few chats read some discussions but the most interesting thing around was what istruemene do you enjoy have your clit torture with . Interesting but did not capture me you could say. I even searched for outdoor bondage some thing that usually will provoke interest in me but nothing.
The amount of people in my house still plagues any attempt to extend my house slavery and will for some time. It is not like a dominant locking you in their house naked and telling you everything must sparkle grinning as they have shackled your legs and hands to provide a challenge. Every second and sound would have meaning them now well there is no demand no must be quicker feeling just well boredom. So maybe a few days off and we will see.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
As men grow older their toys grow smaller
I accepted a friend’s invitation to attend a meeting last night. I had spent some of the day with him catching up and after supper he said to me time to go play. Of course, even though I knew it was not lifestyle related the comment put me in an interested mood. I got the feeling he was worried that the evening would be boring for me.
So off we went. A bunch of guys like this I have never met before. The first thing I noticed was the gleam in thir eyes. It was like seeing little boys that have just walked into the room on Christmas day with all the packages decorated and they stood back taking in the moment. The next thing I noticed was how clean they mostly were my size or larger. Some of them looked like they could play linemen for a football team.
There they were and I will not use the word playing as it is not accepted well by the group so I will say operating very much like being in the real world of trains. Yes miniatures trains were the interest. Funny how those really into an hobby, are so willing to share their knowledge. They knew I was not a train person but they freely opened up and answered all my questions. It was almost like I was an attraction some one to convert or maybe I was some one they could explain their interest to there for fulfilling their need to expose their lust for this hobby. Hobby is a light word as I feel these guys were a lot more intense then I have seen in the lifestyle in a very long time.
I think that I s what I enjoyed the most was the intensity they showed and that my friend was so alive. That and the idea that these guys have huge hands yet can fabricate pile of lumber out of a Popsicle sticks. All and all an interesting experience!
Now of course I cannot end it there. I loved it for much reason some of them related to the lifestyle. First I was in the middle of a bunch who love miniatures next my friend forgot to tell me to bring slippers as you are not allowed to were your boots inside, so I spent all night walking on a cement floor hmmm dungeon sounding is it not. My feet have not yet warmed up so a lasting feeling much as good spanking would. The only other little engines that cause this much happiness would be a vibrator. I found out that real men do not grow up they keep their zeal for things such as these. I of course have come away with all sorts of fodder for future fantasies.
SO no it was not torture and yes I did have fun.
So off we went. A bunch of guys like this I have never met before. The first thing I noticed was the gleam in thir eyes. It was like seeing little boys that have just walked into the room on Christmas day with all the packages decorated and they stood back taking in the moment. The next thing I noticed was how clean they mostly were my size or larger. Some of them looked like they could play linemen for a football team.
There they were and I will not use the word playing as it is not accepted well by the group so I will say operating very much like being in the real world of trains. Yes miniatures trains were the interest. Funny how those really into an hobby, are so willing to share their knowledge. They knew I was not a train person but they freely opened up and answered all my questions. It was almost like I was an attraction some one to convert or maybe I was some one they could explain their interest to there for fulfilling their need to expose their lust for this hobby. Hobby is a light word as I feel these guys were a lot more intense then I have seen in the lifestyle in a very long time.
I think that I s what I enjoyed the most was the intensity they showed and that my friend was so alive. That and the idea that these guys have huge hands yet can fabricate pile of lumber out of a Popsicle sticks. All and all an interesting experience!
Now of course I cannot end it there. I loved it for much reason some of them related to the lifestyle. First I was in the middle of a bunch who love miniatures next my friend forgot to tell me to bring slippers as you are not allowed to were your boots inside, so I spent all night walking on a cement floor hmmm dungeon sounding is it not. My feet have not yet warmed up so a lasting feeling much as good spanking would. The only other little engines that cause this much happiness would be a vibrator. I found out that real men do not grow up they keep their zeal for things such as these. I of course have come away with all sorts of fodder for future fantasies.
SO no it was not torture and yes I did have fun.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Serving
I sometimes wonder if being a person that likes to do things for others has predisposed me to having my submissive side being the dominant of the two. I enjoy facial expressions when some one has acknowledge some thing I have done for them and that certain feeling in side. It is very similar to when a dominants pats my bottom and says well done or verbal informs me that my conduct was good. I enjoy the attention of doing things for other people making them feel good.
I do not enjoy being with an owner or dominant that does not pay attention to what I do or offer them. Just like an unattended child or puppy I act up . Many have seen the bratty side and the answer to any brat is to find out what they was everyone to see what they have to offer. In my dominants side I also like to please but that is different it is complicated as you want the slave to achieve flight through their desires. SO service e of a service sub , pain for a pain slut and protocols for a protocol sub last but not least slavery for a slave.
As a slave it is easy to be rewarded for my efforts a touch , a word and yes a damn good session . As for dominant I gain it through the grimace on their face as they shudder through orgasm, or in the screams as I hit their G spot. Their forced thank you at the end of a session which is sometime so protocol driven that I doubt if the slave can remember doing it after coming down from their flight. You are sitting at the edge of disaster and with little acknowledgement as you teeter on disappointment for the slave or injury for them. They never know how close unless there is an accident and then they still ask for more. I know I have in the past. So lets hope that dominants do have that nasty evil personality that can say tough to be you and mean it otherwise they just might go insane.So next time I am with a dominant I just might lick an suck them off or rimm that ass a little better and with more effort and not a task to do badly so I get another beating, just to say thanks for giving me my desires for attention through what I need the spanking,whippings and humiliation Thanks for accepting my service because that fill a whole other desire.. well that is if the brat does not show up.
I do not enjoy being with an owner or dominant that does not pay attention to what I do or offer them. Just like an unattended child or puppy I act up . Many have seen the bratty side and the answer to any brat is to find out what they was everyone to see what they have to offer. In my dominants side I also like to please but that is different it is complicated as you want the slave to achieve flight through their desires. SO service e of a service sub , pain for a pain slut and protocols for a protocol sub last but not least slavery for a slave.
As a slave it is easy to be rewarded for my efforts a touch , a word and yes a damn good session . As for dominant I gain it through the grimace on their face as they shudder through orgasm, or in the screams as I hit their G spot. Their forced thank you at the end of a session which is sometime so protocol driven that I doubt if the slave can remember doing it after coming down from their flight. You are sitting at the edge of disaster and with little acknowledgement as you teeter on disappointment for the slave or injury for them. They never know how close unless there is an accident and then they still ask for more. I know I have in the past. So lets hope that dominants do have that nasty evil personality that can say tough to be you and mean it otherwise they just might go insane.So next time I am with a dominant I just might lick an suck them off or rimm that ass a little better and with more effort and not a task to do badly so I get another beating, just to say thanks for giving me my desires for attention through what I need the spanking,whippings and humiliation Thanks for accepting my service because that fill a whole other desire.. well that is if the brat does not show up.
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