So many times in the past I have taken Hermit time in my garage. I used to get away from vanilla life, which is what Hermit time is all about. I have offer challenges and free work I have posted when I would be in Hermit time almost daring anyone who read it to come over and catch me. Better send some one to my door and see if I would answer the door naked. Sadly while itn effort and intentions were good on my part the results were dismal. One of the few that actively participated in the challenges was a friend who is a submissive. Seems that the Dominants at the time who read Hermit time did so in passing or were unimpressed with the prize.So I have refrained from the challenges and have gone back to hermit time in the garage.
In the past I would insert a butt plug .put on nipple clamps attached to a chain. The chain I hooked on to a nail on the top part of the garage door. And of course a chain collar. The chain attached to the garage door forced my face, neck and shoulders to be visible to passer bys on the street. So when a car or people would pass I had to duck or twist backwards giving a delicious torture to my nipples. If anything popped out or fell off I had to repeat the time I was to spend.
Of course I upgraded to wearing hand cuffs that would not easily allow me to unhook the chain should some one approach. Then I went wild one day using the runners for the door to attach chains to for my wrists. The only way I could get out of them was to work them slowly off the end of the runner. All lots of fun as they increased my excitement and took the boredom out of the day. Then if it was a good day I could work in the house naked and my house would sparkle. Now not enough of that happens and I would have to say I missed it.
So any one gat a garage I can hang around in or perhaps some nasty cleaning they need a naked slave for? lol
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
A pondering
When sitting around with a butt plug in you tend to ponder a howle lot on meanings.
Pure slavery.
A term use by an acquaintance of mine to describe some thing she wishes to try. Since hearing the term I have fantasized about what it could mean to her. As words can always be interpreted in at least two understandings and usually many more I have given a lot of thought to it’s meaning.
Now slap me if I am wrong but I do believe that it is or carries the meaning of what I have been looking for. No small talk about the price of gas or what we did last summer. No limits put forth by the slave or toy no ideas, demands or listings of what the slave likes to do just compliances to the dominants wishes and their desires.
No control by the slave at all, service, punishment , play is up to the dominant including dismissal for poor behaviour. I guess the only question is whether the slave or the Dominant can remain in their desired states with out a lapse or break.
I would guess length of time would have something to do with it. I have been to a camp but would have to say I was in and our of roles the dominants was not as strong as Ineeded or had wished for so that would be a concern for me but might make me concentrate a lot more on the dominants rather then what I felt I was missing.
Pure slavery.
A term use by an acquaintance of mine to describe some thing she wishes to try. Since hearing the term I have fantasized about what it could mean to her. As words can always be interpreted in at least two understandings and usually many more I have given a lot of thought to it’s meaning.
Now slap me if I am wrong but I do believe that it is or carries the meaning of what I have been looking for. No small talk about the price of gas or what we did last summer. No limits put forth by the slave or toy no ideas, demands or listings of what the slave likes to do just compliances to the dominants wishes and their desires.
No control by the slave at all, service, punishment , play is up to the dominant including dismissal for poor behaviour. I guess the only question is whether the slave or the Dominant can remain in their desired states with out a lapse or break.
I would guess length of time would have something to do with it. I have been to a camp but would have to say I was in and our of roles the dominants was not as strong as Ineeded or had wished for so that would be a concern for me but might make me concentrate a lot more on the dominants rather then what I felt I was missing.
Friday, June 5, 2009
Thoughts on being a toy
Thoughts on being a toy.
I would have to say that the idea of being a toy satisfies me on several fronts. The first interests for me had always been the unknown. A true slave never had the choice of which owner they wanted that to me is a bit alluring. For me it brings the idea of serving, lack of control and humiliation to a high point. What if I do not like the person think there are beneath me? What better a humiliation to be forced to serve them? Would I relish in the humiliation of it or count the minutes before it is over.
Abuse would be another as I might be a toy with a desired used it might not be the use the toy wielded wish. So for a short period of time I would have no control on how I was used. No one wondering if I was happy just some one making sure they were happy. Lack of control ties into this I would not have any reason to give scenarios or tell them what to do. That would be wild, as I love the unknown. I love the challenge of doing something I have not a clue about or involved in plans I do not know. I cold be traded, lent and I would have no say in the matter. A toy has no emotion ties for an owner. An owner might have a favourite toy but no toy has a favourite owner.
Yes I know I am describing a slave. I have in the past used the title of slave perhaps even abused it. Most of my past dominants have not understood my desires and I think have not used me to the fullest of their desires negating the possibility of reaching mine.
The label of toy, yes I know we do not like labels but really without them it might take years to describe what I am so it is nice to have a starting point a common ground or understanding. Unfortunately, the word slave and it’s meaning seems to be convoluted now, I would have used a hankie code but I do not know of one that describes me that well so that is why I will use the label toy along with my thoughts on being a toy I hope more will understand or at least promote discussion on what I can provide and what I need.
I would have to say that the idea of being a toy satisfies me on several fronts. The first interests for me had always been the unknown. A true slave never had the choice of which owner they wanted that to me is a bit alluring. For me it brings the idea of serving, lack of control and humiliation to a high point. What if I do not like the person think there are beneath me? What better a humiliation to be forced to serve them? Would I relish in the humiliation of it or count the minutes before it is over.
Abuse would be another as I might be a toy with a desired used it might not be the use the toy wielded wish. So for a short period of time I would have no control on how I was used. No one wondering if I was happy just some one making sure they were happy. Lack of control ties into this I would not have any reason to give scenarios or tell them what to do. That would be wild, as I love the unknown. I love the challenge of doing something I have not a clue about or involved in plans I do not know. I cold be traded, lent and I would have no say in the matter. A toy has no emotion ties for an owner. An owner might have a favourite toy but no toy has a favourite owner.
Yes I know I am describing a slave. I have in the past used the title of slave perhaps even abused it. Most of my past dominants have not understood my desires and I think have not used me to the fullest of their desires negating the possibility of reaching mine.
The label of toy, yes I know we do not like labels but really without them it might take years to describe what I am so it is nice to have a starting point a common ground or understanding. Unfortunately, the word slave and it’s meaning seems to be convoluted now, I would have used a hankie code but I do not know of one that describes me that well so that is why I will use the label toy along with my thoughts on being a toy I hope more will understand or at least promote discussion on what I can provide and what I need.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
A toy or aa slave
A toy.
A word used for many a thing. A toy in the lifestyle can represent a thing or a person.
When a thing it has purpose not only for what it was intended but as a mental stimulant for the one the toy is to be used on and perhaps to the one who will use it.
In reference to a person it is slightly different. It usually means someone that is used only at specific times such as a play party or perhaps as a prelude to sex. The person become s the slave, submissive or bottom for just that period of time.
Sadly, right now I feel relegate to being a toy. One deep down in the box that when found such comments as I thought I threw that out or oh my god does it still work. Not by choice but timing and circumstance has forced me to accept that the lifestyle demands more flexibility and freedom then any other lifestyle based on rules, restrictions and at the end of it acceptance or understanding.
The Vanillas like to say how open they are but only of things they can understand, I had thought that this would be surpassed inside of the life style but vanilla traits can still be felt and surface quite easily when challenged. So many profess that there is only one way their way and expound upon it to any one of similar voice that cheer on those that express what they also feel.
I and thought that perhaps the Gay community might offer some greater acceptance but honestly the ones I have spoke to are more into the idea of clicks that snipe and attack others. Play nights at clubs once hard to find are now quite common though more a fashion show then hard play. I feel or at least hope there are those who stay away from the gossip, the labelling and Holier then thou attitude and simple wish to play. Those who preferred hankie codes to profiles and private enjoyment amongst like minded individual rather than the exploitation of the lifestyle for the pompous desire to be what they are not.
So I will call my self a toy my purpose I am here to be used and enjoyed by any one that can have evil fun the rest of the superior one that wet themselves when they look in the mirror well you have your playmate it is looking back at you from the mirror.
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A word used for many a thing. A toy in the lifestyle can represent a thing or a person.
When a thing it has purpose not only for what it was intended but as a mental stimulant for the one the toy is to be used on and perhaps to the one who will use it.
In reference to a person it is slightly different. It usually means someone that is used only at specific times such as a play party or perhaps as a prelude to sex. The person become s the slave, submissive or bottom for just that period of time.
Sadly, right now I feel relegate to being a toy. One deep down in the box that when found such comments as I thought I threw that out or oh my god does it still work. Not by choice but timing and circumstance has forced me to accept that the lifestyle demands more flexibility and freedom then any other lifestyle based on rules, restrictions and at the end of it acceptance or understanding.
The Vanillas like to say how open they are but only of things they can understand, I had thought that this would be surpassed inside of the life style but vanilla traits can still be felt and surface quite easily when challenged. So many profess that there is only one way their way and expound upon it to any one of similar voice that cheer on those that express what they also feel.
I and thought that perhaps the Gay community might offer some greater acceptance but honestly the ones I have spoke to are more into the idea of clicks that snipe and attack others. Play nights at clubs once hard to find are now quite common though more a fashion show then hard play. I feel or at least hope there are those who stay away from the gossip, the labelling and Holier then thou attitude and simple wish to play. Those who preferred hankie codes to profiles and private enjoyment amongst like minded individual rather than the exploitation of the lifestyle for the pompous desire to be what they are not.
So I will call my self a toy my purpose I am here to be used and enjoyed by any one that can have evil fun the rest of the superior one that wet themselves when they look in the mirror well you have your playmate it is looking back at you from the mirror.
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Monday, June 1, 2009
Thoughs about Humiliation
Humiliation
is the abasement of pride, which creates mortification or leads to a state of being humbled or reduced to lowliness or submission. It can be brought about through bullying, intimidation, physical or mental mistreatment or trickery, or by embarrassment if a person is revealed to have committed a socially or legally unacceptable act. Whereas humility can be sought alone as a means to de-emphasise the ego, humiliation must involve other person(s), though not necessarily directly or willingly. Acting to humiliate yourself may be linked to a personal belief (as with mortification of the flesh, with some religions), or it can be part of erotic humiliation where the belittling activity provides emotional and/or sexual arousal or heightened sensation
SO one of the last statements there must be other involved is one I will start with. Humiliation to me is closely related to the feeling you get when you have either accidentally or deliberately exposed your self . Some might think of this an act alone but there are those that have seen you so that is involving other people. If you have not been seen then the possibility of others seeing you is exciting it is not the intensity of having been caught.
I feel being caught is vary much at the base of the humiliation game, caught in lie , shown to be lacking in strength, show as weak or that others can control you. All the essence of bullying and of slavery comes out in being caught. Perhaps caught showing your true feelings but still caught.
Slavery to me is the ultimate bulling we give over control to others. They mistreat us slap us around and we do nt leave then for fear. Fear of not having our desires met, fear of the pain that will happen if we do, fear of no longer being the point of some one’s attention. One of the reasons I adore CFmn as it puts the naked male as the canter of attention. The person naked in a room full of dressed people is in tht old dream, nightmare of fantasy depends on how you look at it. Naked at school or in a business meeting is what I speak of. How everyone at first ignores you as you are nothing until one discovers your exposure then all attention is turned to you! As a slave is your exposure any lest, it does not change because of what you are called. I believe that humiliation is a very great part of slavery. Many of the Dominants that exist now are not the successful intelligent people that we might prefer. For me the humiliation tends to increase if I slave to some one normally consider weaker then me. Serving females as there stature is usually smaller then mine or then mine that would not command respect from me in vanilla life as he does in the lifestyle because he holds my chain.
Some thought s on humiliation they are mine you do not have to agree and yes this is an ongoing thought so there will be more.
is the abasement of pride, which creates mortification or leads to a state of being humbled or reduced to lowliness or submission. It can be brought about through bullying, intimidation, physical or mental mistreatment or trickery, or by embarrassment if a person is revealed to have committed a socially or legally unacceptable act. Whereas humility can be sought alone as a means to de-emphasise the ego, humiliation must involve other person(s), though not necessarily directly or willingly. Acting to humiliate yourself may be linked to a personal belief (as with mortification of the flesh, with some religions), or it can be part of erotic humiliation where the belittling activity provides emotional and/or sexual arousal or heightened sensation
SO one of the last statements there must be other involved is one I will start with. Humiliation to me is closely related to the feeling you get when you have either accidentally or deliberately exposed your self . Some might think of this an act alone but there are those that have seen you so that is involving other people. If you have not been seen then the possibility of others seeing you is exciting it is not the intensity of having been caught.
I feel being caught is vary much at the base of the humiliation game, caught in lie , shown to be lacking in strength, show as weak or that others can control you. All the essence of bullying and of slavery comes out in being caught. Perhaps caught showing your true feelings but still caught.
Slavery to me is the ultimate bulling we give over control to others. They mistreat us slap us around and we do nt leave then for fear. Fear of not having our desires met, fear of the pain that will happen if we do, fear of no longer being the point of some one’s attention. One of the reasons I adore CFmn as it puts the naked male as the canter of attention. The person naked in a room full of dressed people is in tht old dream, nightmare of fantasy depends on how you look at it. Naked at school or in a business meeting is what I speak of. How everyone at first ignores you as you are nothing until one discovers your exposure then all attention is turned to you! As a slave is your exposure any lest, it does not change because of what you are called. I believe that humiliation is a very great part of slavery. Many of the Dominants that exist now are not the successful intelligent people that we might prefer. For me the humiliation tends to increase if I slave to some one normally consider weaker then me. Serving females as there stature is usually smaller then mine or then mine that would not command respect from me in vanilla life as he does in the lifestyle because he holds my chain.
Some thought s on humiliation they are mine you do not have to agree and yes this is an ongoing thought so there will be more.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Somethings are just best keep to myself.
I was sitting on a bus I had not taken in a while and smiled as I passed a house I always like to see on Baffin. A large house three car garage and looked a bit Gothic. My vanilla friend next to me commented that I was smiling. I said it is the house that I had always fantasized about what it was like inside. He said when we start smiling at impossible things we are stating to show our age.
I smiled again but did not tell him why. I had smiled at all the fantasies that I had lived out imagine if I had told him about that . How I was a slave and had several session by the age of twenty one. How I live for three glorious months as a slave or my first trainings with Greogian. The numerous ass of women I have kissed as well as oher places. How I pranced around several times at clubs private parties and at camps being a slave. I will not say how many spankings or whippings I have endured for both the pleasure of my Dominants and myself.
I really should not tell him of my real fantasy of the house on Baffin of being the house boy or naked man servant. No some things are just best shared here where my vanilla friends do not go and if they stumble onto all they get to see is my naked ass. So unless they have been admiring my ass from a far I guess I am okay. Somethings are just best keep to myself.
I smiled again but did not tell him why. I had smiled at all the fantasies that I had lived out imagine if I had told him about that . How I was a slave and had several session by the age of twenty one. How I live for three glorious months as a slave or my first trainings with Greogian. The numerous ass of women I have kissed as well as oher places. How I pranced around several times at clubs private parties and at camps being a slave. I will not say how many spankings or whippings I have endured for both the pleasure of my Dominants and myself.
I really should not tell him of my real fantasy of the house on Baffin of being the house boy or naked man servant. No some things are just best shared here where my vanilla friends do not go and if they stumble onto all they get to see is my naked ass. So unless they have been admiring my ass from a far I guess I am okay. Somethings are just best keep to myself.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
bulling vs slavery
I find many of the key elements of slavery can be found in being bullied. At least key elements that I enjoy. First there is the unknown factor of being bullied you do not know what they will do nor how far they will go. So far I have never heard of a bully asking for your hard limits. No bully has ever to my knowledge ask what victim would like they do.
The fear factor comes to fore front. Most comply because of this if I don’t it will be worse. Having you face spat upon or urinated on both are some slaves desires. Kissing or rimming ass, licking feet all bulling are also desires of some slaves.
Then there is the humiliation of it being tied to fence , forced nudity of having people you would not give the time day to being in control of you. Another humiliation is when others see this being done to you.
I guess having never been bullied in school and that it has a lot of things I have desired for a while certainly intrigues me.
Having been a switch there is another thing that I ponder that is what if I had to serve an old slave of mine how nasty could she be. Would it be more humiliating to have some one that I tortured now in charge would that not be interesting a revenge factor almost? SO much to think about
The fear factor comes to fore front. Most comply because of this if I don’t it will be worse. Having you face spat upon or urinated on both are some slaves desires. Kissing or rimming ass, licking feet all bulling are also desires of some slaves.
Then there is the humiliation of it being tied to fence , forced nudity of having people you would not give the time day to being in control of you. Another humiliation is when others see this being done to you.
I guess having never been bullied in school and that it has a lot of things I have desired for a while certainly intrigues me.
Having been a switch there is another thing that I ponder that is what if I had to serve an old slave of mine how nasty could she be. Would it be more humiliating to have some one that I tortured now in charge would that not be interesting a revenge factor almost? SO much to think about
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